No literally this title has never been so fitting for the month of September. Rise n shine it's a new dawn it's new day it's a new life and I'm feeling good. So Why do I love September you ask? Your girls going on holiday yaaaaas! I honestly cannot begin to fathom or comprehend how grateful I am to God for this, it honestly would not be possible without him! I get to visit two states California and Utah can I get a yaaaaaaaas! Okay now that my fan grilling is kinda over let's commence with the rest of the months shenanigans. It's crazy to think where I am right now, LOOL I am honestly going on as if I just became a multimillionaire, but I am so proud with the very little I have achieved from last year I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I am getting there. Guys let this September be a month of joy, success and laughter. Here's to the month of September!
It's the end of summer and I've decided to get my hot summer bod right when everyone's returning to real life stuff like school and work etc etc. I've realised lately that I haven't really been taking care of myself. Your girl has literally let her self go and yes the food may be lit, but my abs ain't! I'm not trying to lose weight to be a walking barbie. I'm not trying to get guys to look at my body either. I literally just want to change my lifestyle and really start watching what I put in my body, because you know "your body is a temple" so don't let ratchet things in it. I found this really cool app called 'Lifesum' and it basically helps you keep track of how you're eating. It has honestly helped me realise just how much shit I've been putting in my body, and really helped me want to start making my own food and start eating clean. This isn't to say that I won't ever eat junk cause you know "life is for living not living uptight" but you know less is more eat everything in moderation and your life will be Gucci not Louis Vuitton. Okay that's it folks!
For me a girl boss is 100% unapologetic. She is confident with I and self and does not require societies say on what makes a woman. She does not posses masculine features because her role on earth is separate to man.  The term "bitch" cannot be used to describe her, instead she is confident and powerful. Her beauty is not only of exterior but interior. The term 'feminist' cannot be attached to a girl boss, because this term does not fight for all women. Our problems go beyond walking topless. Instead she  fights for womanhood, because all women matter. A girl boss will not apologies for her educated mind, or her feminine attributes. A girl boss is not against man but works with him. Women are the queens of earth, like God we bring life and we can also take it away. The wo in women comes from our ability to wow mankind with are minds, do not be attracted by the makeup on my face, the size of my waist or the length of my hair. For these are things that will fade in time. Let the wo in women come from my ability to wow you with my intelligence. For these are the things that make a GIRL BOSS!

Okay I am not your gushy type of girl at all, but these two make me so happy, and so in love with love. The very first time I saw Leanda and Greg together I knew that they were in it for the long run. It's honestly one of the most beautiful things, seeing two people that are so compatible with each other, come together through the union of marriage. I honestly feel so happy and privileged to have been able to share such a sacred moment with these two. To the beautiful bride and groom wishing you many more years of joy happiness and love. 
Your choice in career should not ultimately come down to how big the pay check is at the end of the month. There is more to life than money. Life is already stressful enough, don't burden your body with a job you hate going to, and this isn't me saying quit your job, but more so learn what you need and take it somewhere it'll be valued. I'm starting to realise how incredibly short life is, and honestly I am so grateful to God for giving me this opportunity to work in such a stressful environment, because I can assure you that when the time comes for me to move on I'll be ready, and I will have new amazing opportunities to look forward to. This trial is only temporary and if anything I've learnt that how you treat people is so important, respect earned and respect given are two sides of the same coin, but have completely different meaning. If there's anything I want anyone to take from this it would be to "Do what you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life."
Leanda is getting hitched soon to be married, and doing what married couples do. This Friday, was her bachelorette party, and boy was it was fun. It consisted of rain, fire and a lot of dancing. Did I mention I almost had my hair set on fire, my lack of experience at a bar or maybe the bartenders common sense to warn me that whatever drink he was making was flammable, to my shock and by the grace of God, my natural instinct told me to back the hell up, and I am glad I did, because who knows what would have been left of my hair. Back to serious business, we went to this 90s themed club in soho London "Good Pop Bad Pop"and it was super fun the atmosphere, people and music really made it all a night to remember. Leanda, is honestly such a great catch for any guy, she's not only beautiful but she comes with a brain to! I wish you and Greg the most happiest wedding and life in marriage to come, thank you for letting me be part of the process.
When life gives you lemons you make mother fucking lemonade! Excuse my profound language, but do bear in mind that despite me being a mormon, my blog is not for the faint hearted. (I like to keep it real on this blog, and although some may not appreciate me cursing, I find that it's my way of venting out my frustrations.) This week has been incredibly hard for me, I feel like I have been fighting some inner demons; that just won't seem to go away, and despite my eagerness to curve these trials in life. I just keep getting smacked right in the face with them, and they are constant and reoccurring. I'd like to think of myself as a really positive girl who sees the best in life, but I'd be lying to you if I said this was me 100% of the time, I wouldn't say I'm a negative person but I do tend to override life with seeing the bad before the good. I feel so inadequate at the moment with where I am in life, and feel like I constantly question whether I'm making the right choices, because I honestly don't feel any kind of peace with myself. People say that, comparison is the biggest killer of self-esteem, and I can testify of that, but it's so hard to avoid when you are constantly having things shoved in your face and people asking you when you're going to achieve these "milestones" that people talk about. But like I said in the beginning, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. Work with what you've got and see where it gets you. The wonderful thing about life is that regardless of whether your religious or not each and every decision you make in life is done with faith, we will never know the outcomes of our decisions until we make them, and that's where "faith" falls into place, because faith is built through action and with the hopes that our decisions lead to growth. Whether those decisions lead us to success or failure isn't important, because life is about taking that leap of faith and seeing where it takes you. 

I swear this weekend was the highlight to my horrid week! I don't know where I'm going and it's not a good thing, I constantly feel like I'm on the edge about a lot of things that are happening in my life. I do not feel content with where I am at in life and I don't know where I'm heading or if I'm doing the right thing. I feel like I have to pull through with what I'm currently doing, but is it worth it in the end? I am so glad my friends invited me to join them this weekend to just forget about everything and relax. I honestly look so forward to the weekends, because I get to lie in like rest of the adult world. I'm not really making much sense with this whole blog post, but my point is I am grateful for me time!

I write this currently with heavy eyes and a heavy heart. I am so grateful to be apart of such an amazing establishment! If anything I have never been part of a family that is so centred around putting others before ourselves. It feels so good to know that one act of service can transform the life of someone else forever. Yesterday made me realise just how incredibly short life is, six people lost their lives because three individuals thought that it would be fun to go and terrorise the streets of London purely because they want to inject fear into people. When I got the news about the events that happened in London it honestly broke my heart. Despite the ill acts of these individuals London stands united we will not let the ill acts of hate overtake the power of LOVE we have for each other despite what these horrid men did they will not divide what we celebrate so much in London, diversity and multiculturalism. We refuse to let one act of hate paint a false picture of great Muslim men and women who live amongst others peacefully!

I haven't really spoken about myself or ever given you an introduction to who I am.  First things first I'm the realist, I am 22 years old and currently living in London. My dream is to travel to every content. I am shy meet me with my friends and you'd think otherwise, but I am honestly one of the most socially awkward humans you'll ever encounter in life. I have a crush on Justin Bieber and Matthew McConaughey. I am the definition of  embarrassing, but would I be Barbara if I weren't embarrassing myself? Kanye West, is literally my rap God I love everything about his music, he is art and I was super bummed when he cancelled his European tour, but you know what they say bak comes first! I love, fashion, photography and politics. If I could work for anyone for one day it would be Christopher Nolan, he is just amazing I wish to be as hard working and great at work as he is one day! I love my mom she is my rock and my world, everything I am doing and will do will be for her. I started this blog, because I wanted to document my life on the internet, let's see where it will take me. Well that's it for now I hope you enjoyed the read until next time ladies and gentleman. 

I made it to my twenty second year of life and how grateful I am to God, for keeping me a live boy oh boy has it been a rocky road but I can assure you that if I could I wouldn't change one thing. Despite things  not always going my way I have been shaped into the woman I am because of every trial and error.  I am grateful for love and I am grateful for life and the family and friends and people who have walked in and out of my life, because you have all taught me who to be and what not to be. Guys if I could give you one piece of advice it would to be to make the most of life it is so incredibly short and unpredictable. Last year I was smacked with a lot of shocking events that really helped penetrate in my head just how important it is to value life and the people in it. I'm learning that popularity isn't anything to aspire if it means crushing others around you. Being nice to people is also important (I'm working on this I am not a horrible person but I'm not as nice as I could be) we don't know what people are going through and we don't know what peoples breaking points are don't be that person to add the sh*t to someone else's life. Travel and explore beyond yourself if you have the financial means do it! There is so much culture to delve yourself into and it will really help you see the world differently. If you don't like your job quit! "Do what you love and love what you live" life's way to short to be working in a field you have no passion for! Most importantly live a life that you'd be proud of my greatest word of wisdom would be to understand that money isn't everything it shouldn't be the only driving force in your life it comes and goes. What matters are the people and you!
I'm not dead I've just been busy working that 9-5 job that people use to tell me about (well 6:00pm in my case) and its super intense but I'm starting to love this new job. I previously worked in retail, and hated it with a passion! The things you have to deal with in retail will honestly work in your favour long term, because honestly if I had not had that experience I would've honestly quit my internship the first week, retail helps you build the thick skin that you'll need in any other demanding job (shoutout to those who know what I'm talking about). There's so much to SMM (Social Media Marketing) that I was so naive about. I honestly use to think it was simply taking photos and uploading them with some written content. Oh how wrong I was! Way more complex than that. I work on SMM so I'm constantly having to invent new ideas for content that people will like, as well as building up marketing strategies to pitch to a client it's hard but I'm learning It's crazy to think about how much I've learnt in just two weeks. So for the most part I'm learning  and growing so this will do me great wonders, in the future. A little side note, one thing I need to make mention of to anybody reading this is that you are capable of anything, if you have something you are passionate about go and get it. People may laugh at you or think your incapable of achieving such things, but remember the greatest revenge is success. I told myself last year that I would get a new job in SMM and look where I am now, trust me it wasn't easy and I in no way do I want to give off that impression, but what I will say is that anything you put your mind to is possible! You just need to have a goal and something to push you. The sky honestly is the limit and I have so many amazing adventures that I cannot wait to devour myself in! I hope your all having an amazing week!
"If you can't love yourself, how the hell can you expect to love anyone else?" - Ru Paul With Valentines day approaching this quote couldn't be more relatable to those that are both single and coupled. On the 14th of February I will be spending my time and money on me, myself and I. Valentines day has been turned into this money making industry where we're made to feel that love is defined by how many crimson roses one receives from her boyfriend or the idea that if you're single this day is exclusively for couple couples only. This Valentines day whether your coupled or single really learn the value of self worth know what you deserve and have the knowledge to know different. Remember that self love equates to love for others! Wishing you all a happy Valentines day x

This year I'm trying to take my camera on as much adventures with me as possible whether they be big or small. I'm going to have my camera on the ready. Me and Debora visited this light art exhibition on Monday down at Canary Wharf to watch the rainbow coloured lights light up the cold streets of London, as you can see through the pictures it was very beautiful to look at, but the images don't tell you how freaking cold it was LOOOL pardon my language, but I mean seriously London can you warm up already! despite the blistering cold winds we pushed forward to look at all of the lights and it was worth it I mean besides my constant biggering and tantrums I really did enjoy the lights (Debora if you're reading this apologies for being a walking juke box).

If you know me personally I absolutely hate waiting, but patience isn't about standing still waiting for a pivotal moment in your life to happen, but rather a process that requires you to move forward. I am currently in a stage of life where I'm working in a job that I don't have any passion for (side note retail is basically slave labour lol). I've finished university and trying to the whole adult thing by paying bills and basically trying to get through every month without having a mental breakdown. For the most part I am positive about the future I know that this stage of life is not permanent; and sooner or later a company will want me to be part of their team. But with that being an adult is hard especially when people are constantly asking you why you haven't done this and that and completely bypassing the fact that things don't just fall out of the sky, and these things although annoyingly long require patience. I've been through stages since graduating which have really had me questioning sometimes whether I am failing in life, because I haven't reached that point in life that everybody else on social media seems to brag about. Then I have to remind myself that I am where I am for a reason and to let go of those feelings of negativity and thoughts of doubt that  come to mind; because I know I will get where I need to be eventually, and to anyone else reading this remember things don't happen over night. Just like Rome wasn't' built in one day neither will progress in life. These things take time remember that you've got this! Keep hustling to get where you need to be!
This year was one big surreal blur so much happened in such a small frame of time and it honestly took me by surprise at some points. From my friends suicide to finishing school and then being in a job where I was unhappy and getting paid the bare minimum. For months I was questioning myself and God about where he wanted to take me in life. My relationship with church was deteriorating I mean I was going to church literally having to drag myself there. I've never once doubted whether the gospel is true, but during that time it wasn't really what I cared for. So much was happening to others around me and I felt completely useless if I'm honest. It hurt so much knowing that there was nothing I could do to change their situations. If anything 2016 taught me to be grateful for life and to take full advantage of it. God has opened my eyes and taught me to value those that value me this isn't to say that I shouldn't love my neighbour, but more so to understand that that seeking thee approval of others is a waste of time especially if it's for something as small as popularity. If I could take anything from this year it would be to love life and live it to the fullest. When I got the news about my friends death it seriously crushed my world, but it was the first time that God helped me realise that beyond self there are others that are hurting! I came yo God with a broken heart and he helped me heal those wounds I am so grateful for the journey he took me on this year. This year helped me realise just how much I needed him to help me. I had neglected myself from his love simply because I believed I was less deserving, but this goes out to everyone no matter how bad the sin or how much you may fall the Lord will always be there to support you. He has never given up on me and I will never give up on him, because of it. I am no way the best christian but my sins are honest my heart is genuine and I know the Lord understands my journey. To 2017 I hope I learn more, grow more and live more!

Dear Barbara,
You're going to be okay, enjoy being young because you won't be young for long. You'll wake up one day and realise that time didn't wait for you to catch those opportunities! Grab them while you can and don't let go of them. Learn to say yes to things that scare you those things will help you grow the most. If you're gonna go broke make sure to spend that money on experiences nothing can even come into comparison to those tender moments you share with people the places you visit and the change it brings to your heart. Popularity is overrated you don't need to be the most popular girl with the biggest group of friends remember quality over quantity is key. Don't waste your time trying to impress people. Bullying is disgusting don't do it don't stoop that low you are bigger than that. Remember to be nice you don't know what people are going through. Remember how you treat others is a reflection on how you feel about yourself! It's okay to be sad don't ever feel guilty for showing your emotion but don't dwell on sadness don't let sadness consume you. Let go of your pride and learn to forgive grudges are a bigger burden on yourself than they are to those that cause you harm. Your relationship with God is the most important relationship you'll ever have trust him and the path he has set for you thank him in both good and bad times. Don't be afraid to let go of friends that don't have your best interest.  You can't help everyone so don't put that burden on yourself don't let other peoples burdens become your problems. Love those who have no love for you back it will show what kind of person you are! DO NOT EVER BE A HYPOCRITE live by the words that you speak and stand proud. Make sure that you live to your fullest potential remember you only have one chance on this earth live the life you love. You can't win all the time don't be hard on yourself. Family is important love them let them know they are loved don't take them for granted. Your mom is your rock and your world you would be nothing without her. Last but not least life is short be happy and merry it will be hard at times but remember you've got this!
Now although I've never actually taken any other wedding photos except these. It was honestly such a joy photographing these two once everyone else went to the reception,  usually people tend to get shy or really stiff once it's just me them and the camera, but these two were naturals followed direction well and honestly made my job so easy. What's even better is the fact that I was able to share such a special moment in their life and document it so that they could visualise it forever, this is what makes me love photography so much, when done right it can bring so much joy to others. I was trusted by one of the most amazing friends on the planet to take her wedding photos, and here are some of the images. The whole day was a bit chaotic trying to get photos in and everything, but it was defiantly a learning experience for me. I have so much for wedding photographers, because they have a lot weighing on their shoulders and could potentially make or break someones special day. I don't think I will do another wedding until I have all the right equipment, now although I got some great images and had some ideas of what and how I wanted to shoot. I would say that I defiantly still need sharpen up on my skills.

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